Ha. Seriously though, not much to update yet. I have been taking FRERs every morning, partly to ensure that the line is getting darker, and partly to assure myself that I am indeed still pregnant. :) The line has gotten stronger, thankfully. I also finally worked up the nerve to take a Clearblue digi, and sure enough, its pronouncement of how far along I am correlates precisely with reality (phew!). Here are the three most recent FRERs, and the digi:
My first beta is tomorrow morning. Second beta should be Saturday. I admit, I'm pretty nervous! I am really struggling with fear and worry at this stage, given my previous loss. I am so scared that those betas are not going to double the way they should. Every little twinge in my general abdominal area makes my heart skip a beat. I am terrified about losing this baby. I wish that I could reclaim the innocence of pregnancy prior to my miscarriage. Instead, it is a daily struggle to convince myself not to worry, that chances are that everything will be fine, and that the likelihood that I will miscarry again is low. I have to be positive. I have to allow myself to enjoy this, to hope, to get excited. Afterall, a life is actually growing inside of me right now. That is pretty amazing. :)
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